close to the limits of the atmosphere, closer to whatever one imagined to be up beyond the seeable and hence the knowable. I began to read about the Apollo astronauts and the meticulous work of NASA in preparing astronauts and space craft to defy all the laws of physics which had held people under the thrall of gravity. I watched the earliest silent films which visualised space travel and the experience of weightlessness; a hundred years ago it was clear to these film makers that a journey into space would involve a toxic combination of science, colonisation and military strategy. Georges Méliès’ A Trip to the Moon (1902) opens with a scene lifted straight from Jules Verne’s From the Earth to the Moon (1865) when The Baltimore Gun Club, a group dedicated to the design of weapons, creates a plan to send a rocket to the moon. The film also includes a phalanx of scantily clad girls escorting the rocket to its launch and the iconic scene in which the rocket lands on the face of the moon. In Edison’s A Trip to Mars (1910) the main character, a chemist, invents a powder with the power of reverse gravity. He dusts himself with the material and is propelled into outer space, legs kicking, to encounter a hostile Martian.
The strange thing about space travel is how crude and rudimentary the filmed footage can seem, how similar to those early films. The radio broadcast from the tiny ship is riddled with static and disruptions to the narration from the astronauts and from ‘mission control’ which just appear as ‘…’ in the NASA transcripts. It’s suggestive of all the things that were not captured, the elements of the experience that remained unsayable, inexpressible. Michael Collins was left circling the moon alone and out of radio contact each time he passed its dark side as his two companions landed on the moon’s surface. He wrote: ‘It is there, reinforced by the fact that radio contact with the Earth abruptly cuts off at the instant I disappear behind the moon, I am alone now, truly alone, and absolutely isolated from any known life.’ How did it feel? And did my failure to understand the rudimentary physical laws of the universe in that high windowed classroom in which I was bored or lost or afloat in a sea of tranquillity, crisis, cold, cleverness, serenity, mean I could never ever go into space? Did it happen in that moment of detachment as I cast aside the cautious hopes of those who built that school?
When all I seemed to do was feel. My ignorance of those lessons was just one of many moments that accumulated until my trajectory was set and earthbound: I would never go into space.
When I began an artist residency at Metal Peterborough I was thinking about travelling to the moon constantly, obsessively. I travelled to Pontefract, home of the Space Lectures, to see Apollo astronauts speak. Part of the experience of attending the lectures included having your hand shaken by an astronaut as you had your photograph taken, speaking a few words before the next person stood up in your place. I can still feel the electric thrill that went through my whole body when I made physical contact, hand gripping hand fleetingly briefly, with an Apollo astronaut. It was a form of devotion; it wouldn’t be exaggerating to describe it as pilgrimage. After a lifetime of believing that I met every event in my life with stoic implacability I met a man who had walked on the moon and blushed like a teenager.
The moment I walked into Peterborough Cathedral I was convinced that the people who had built it were trying to reach the heavens. The eye follows the lines of columns up to the vaulted ceiling as if stone could sigh out the desire for sanctuary in space. The idea of being lost but also finally finding yourself is implicit in the idea of such a journey. My residency was shared with the visual artist Bettina Furnée. Trained as a stone letter cutter, she understood the material forces at work in the engineering of this massive building. Her artistic practice also focused on the moon, but it was primarily on the effect of the moon upon earth, its orbital pathway and waxing and waning influence on tides and the environment.
Like many visitors to the cathedral, we were strangers, lost in an alien environment and a long way from home. But we were not alone in this. Many people visit the place purely because it is located next to the region’s only emergency passport office. And so, by definition, they are on a journey somewhere else. Not only this, but Peterborough is a place of migration, with one of the fastest growing populations in the country. Numberless waves of people from around the world have arrived here from distant places and stayed briefly in the shadows of this huge building.
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