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a woman has available in which to write. One in four women said they spent less time writing once they’d had children, and 39 per cent said they spent almost no time at all on their writing when their children were small. (See sidebar overleaf.) A CONFLICT BETWEEN THE ROLES OF MOTHER AND ARTIST ARISES FROM THE PERCEIVED SELFISHNESS OF THE WOMAN ARTIST As well as the obvious physical issues – needing to be available for ondemand breastfeeding at all hours, or trying to sit down at a desk with a demanding toddler wrapped around your ankles – many women described feeling cut off from their literary life and dumped into a dreary domesticity full of unending piles of tiny laundry, toys to clear away, sinks full of bottles and bibs. ‘Writing became a luxury I could only enjoy once all the domestic tasks had been fulfilled,’ said one survey participant. ‘I have to make the breakfast, do the washing, make sure there’s a clean school uniform, book the eye test, cook the dinner (make sure it’s nutritious, varied, but also something the child will eat). When I didn’t have a child to look after, I could ignore these kinds of dull, soul-sapping tasks,’ said another. But some women had the opposite experience and found that during the early days of motherhood, being ‘nap-trapped’ under a sleeping newborn offered an opportunity to write at a time when little else can be done (if you can set aside the temptation to binge-watch Gilmore Girls). Novelist Laura Steven drafted an entire 100,000-word novel on the Notes app on her phone, while her newborn son napped or fed, a habit she returns to today when her routines fall apart. ‘When I read my drafts back, I never remember what I wrote in perfect conditions and what I wrote in two-sentence bursts on my phone. It all just becomes story,’ she says. This new ability to hyperfocus in rare moments of free time was true for one in five of those who answered our survey. (See sidebars below.) ‘It’s made it harder to find the time to write but, conversely, it’s made me a better writer, insofar as I focus more on what’s important,’ said one woman. And another said, ‘Naps and preschool schedules gave me windows to write and made me more productive’. For many, the effects were more subtle. Several survey participants mentioned that the monotony of household tasks opened up time for their minds to wander. ‘I found I had more headspace to think creatively, being off work and doing mundane/ repetitive/routine things like folding washing, breastfeeding, etc.,’ said one. ‘Maternity leave gave me the space and the creative energy to begin writing seriously,’ said another. New priorities Personally, I found that the routines of early motherhood helped me to reconfigure the way I thought about writing as a practice. I witnessed first-hand the virtues of being entirely present and surrendering to something; I watched my daughter grow and flourish, and learn new things, as a direct result of the time and care I devoted to her. The foundation of motherhood is the act of sustaining and maintaining, of feeding and bathing and changing, day in, day out. And during that time I was inadvertently learning about myself and DID HAVING CHILDREN AFFECT YOUR WRITING ABILITY? Yes, in positive ways 25% I felt more in touch with my emotions 22% I felt more creative/ experimental 22% I was more productive in the time available 9% I felt better able to find the right words to express myself 2% I felt more able to concentrate Yes, in negative ways 25% I felt less able to concentrate 22% I was less productive in the time available 22% I felt less creative/ experimental 9% I felt less able to find the right words to express myself 2% I felt less in touch with my emotions (1,525 respondents) DID HAVING CHILDREN AFFECT YOUR ATTITUDE TO YOUR WRITING? Yes, in positive ways 33% I had a clearer sense of purpose 15% I became less afraid of rejection 14% I became more confident 14% I became less of a perfectionist 13% I became less self-conscious Yes, in negative ways 12% I became less confident 8% I became more self- conscious 8% I became more afraid of rejection 7% I had less sense of purpose 4% I became more of a perfectionist (1,525 respondents) DID HAVING CHILDREN AFFECT YOUR MOTIVATION TO WRITE? 35% It became more important to me 30% I felt more guilty spending time writing 24% I became more determined 16% I became more ambitious 8% It became less important to me 8% I became less ambitious 5% I became less determined 4% I felt less guilty spending time writing (1,525 respondents) WHAT WOULD HELP (OR WOULD HAVE HELPED) YOUR WRITING AS A PARENT? 54% Recorded course and event material that I can access at any time 53% An online option for all live courses and events so I can attend wherever I am 48% Access to free or affordable writing space away from home 47% Regular contact with other writers in my situation 31% Writing courses and events with childcare facilities 27% Writing courses and events during the day at weekends when I can access childcare from family/friends (1,525 respondents) / STOCKSY DANYLCHENKO : YAROSLAV PAGE IS ; TH STOCK / ADOBE IA : TUMSKA ITE OPPOS PHOTO 10 AGENDA / Mslexia / Dec/Jan/Feb 2024/25
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my capacity to create, to nurture, to be resilient. I learned about consistency and care, and about what I would choose to say ‘no’ to in order to make space for my priorities. These are lessons I take with me into my understanding of creativity. Having a baby gave me a renewed sense of purpose. My potential came into sharp focus, and I felt ready to create work that is more meaningful, more important and closer to the bone than before. And this galvanising effect was also felt by the women who took part in our survey. One third of respondents said that writing became more important to them after having children, and 33 per cent said that motherhood offered them a clearer sense of purpose. There were several reasons given for this. Some women wanted to show their children that working hard at something you enjoy was a worthy endeavour – ‘I wanted to show my child how important it is to follow your curiosity and passion,’ was one comment. For others, writing represented a way to maintain (or regain) a sense of self as a person, away from the role of ‘Mum’. ‘It was only when my son was born that the urge to write overpowered me. My time, my energy, my sense of self disappeared – but the words poured out like never before,’ read another comment. Transferable skills Motherhood clearly has the capacity to challenge women’s previously held conceptions about how the world works and what is important. And learning how to live in this new mode of being necessitates a great deal of innovation. A study led by Emily Ma at the University of Massachusetts suggested that motherhood can ‘enhance women’s knowledge, skills and capacity’ and strengthen ‘willpower, and overall emotional intelligence’ – all highly desirable traits for a writer. In her book Mother Nature, anthropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy argues that mothers were among the earliest intellectuals, ‘enlisting natural history, myth, and ritual to explain anomalies, justify their actions, and reconcile necessity with emotions’. Remember those changes in brain structure found by Hoekzema and Barba-Müller? Lead researcher Hoekzema explains that this synaptic reorganisation represents a fine-tuning of the brain, with the most prominent changes resulting in an increased ability to understand what someone else is thinking, feeling or needing – all excellent skills for ensuring the survival of a child. Again, I would argue that such skills are equally useful for the writer’s toolkit. In a further study on the effects of pregnancy on brain activity, published in the journal Nature Communications, Hoekzema argued that changes in the brain’s Default Mode Network – associated with self-perception, self-referential processing, and autobiographical memory – ‘alter the neural basis of the self ’ and lead to a ‘transformation in a woman’s identity and focus’. Pregnancy is a time of profound upheaval: it remakes who we are. Sense and sensibility Given these profound changes, is it any surprise that a whopping 96 per cent of our survey respondents felt that motherhood had significantly changed them as a person? ‘I can’t even remember the person I was sometimes. It has been the most significant event of my life,’ said one survey participant. Another felt particularly strongly: ‘It’s an existential experience – I can’t see how anyone wouldn’t be changed by it!’ And the majority felt that motherhood had MANY WOMEN DESCRIBED FEELING CUT OFF FROM THEIR LITERARY LIFE AND DUMPED INTO A DREARY DOMESTICITY changed them as writers too. That’s not to say that they decided to write about motherhood – 36 per cent of survey respondents said that becoming a mother hadn’t changed the subject matter of their writing at all. But 58 per cent said that becoming a mother had changed them as writers in a multitude of profound ways. One in four women felt more in touch with their emotions postpartum, for example, with 22 per cent saying that they felt more experimental. And 17 per cent said that they were drawn to darker subject matter, perhaps finding it a useful place to direct that raw creative energy away from the restrained safety-proofed spaces of motherhood. ‘I was drawn to writing more about transformation, in particular around becoming a mother, but also more broadly,’ said one participant. ‘I ceased being the centre of my universe,’ said another. And one woman concluded: ‘I have more understanding of so many things about life, death, and everything in between.’ 11 AGENDA / Mslexia / Dec/Jan/Feb 2024/25

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a woman has available in which to write. One in four women said they spent less time writing once they’d had children, and 39 per cent said they spent almost no time at all on their writing when their children were small. (See sidebar overleaf.)

A CONFLICT BETWEEN THE ROLES OF MOTHER AND ARTIST ARISES FROM THE PERCEIVED SELFISHNESS OF THE WOMAN ARTIST

As well as the obvious physical issues – needing to be available for ondemand breastfeeding at all hours, or trying to sit down at a desk with a demanding toddler wrapped around your ankles – many women described feeling cut off from their literary life and dumped into a dreary domesticity full of unending piles of tiny laundry, toys to clear away, sinks full of bottles and bibs. ‘Writing became a luxury I could only enjoy once all the domestic tasks had been fulfilled,’ said one survey participant. ‘I have to make the breakfast, do the washing, make sure there’s a clean school uniform, book the eye test, cook the dinner (make sure it’s nutritious, varied, but also something the child will eat). When I didn’t have a child to look after, I could ignore these kinds of dull, soul-sapping tasks,’ said another.

But some women had the opposite experience and found that during the early days of motherhood, being ‘nap-trapped’ under a sleeping newborn offered an opportunity to write at a time when little else can be done (if you can set aside the temptation to binge-watch Gilmore Girls).

Novelist Laura Steven drafted an entire 100,000-word novel on the Notes app on her phone, while her newborn son napped or fed, a habit she returns to today when her routines fall apart. ‘When I read my drafts back, I never remember what I wrote in perfect conditions and what I wrote in two-sentence bursts on my phone. It all just becomes story,’ she says.

This new ability to hyperfocus in rare moments of free time was true for one in five of those who answered our survey. (See sidebars below.) ‘It’s made it harder to find the time to write but, conversely, it’s made me a better writer, insofar as I focus more on what’s important,’ said one woman. And another said, ‘Naps and preschool schedules gave me windows to write and made me more productive’.

For many, the effects were more subtle. Several survey participants mentioned that the monotony of household tasks opened up time for their minds to wander. ‘I found I had more headspace to think creatively, being off work and doing mundane/ repetitive/routine things like folding washing, breastfeeding, etc.,’ said one. ‘Maternity leave gave me the space and the creative energy to begin writing seriously,’ said another.

New priorities Personally, I found that the routines of early motherhood helped me to reconfigure the way I thought about writing as a practice. I witnessed first-hand the virtues of being entirely present and surrendering to something; I watched my daughter grow and flourish, and learn new things, as a direct result of the time and care I devoted to her.

The foundation of motherhood is the act of sustaining and maintaining, of feeding and bathing and changing, day in, day out. And during that time I was inadvertently learning about myself and

DID HAVING CHILDREN AFFECT YOUR WRITING ABILITY? Yes, in positive ways 25% I felt more in touch with my emotions 22% I felt more creative/

experimental 22% I was more productive in the time available 9% I felt better able to find the right words to express myself 2% I felt more able to concentrate Yes, in negative ways 25% I felt less able to concentrate 22% I was less productive in the time available 22% I felt less creative/

experimental 9% I felt less able to find the right words to express myself 2% I felt less in touch with my emotions (1,525 respondents)

DID HAVING CHILDREN AFFECT YOUR ATTITUDE TO YOUR WRITING? Yes, in positive ways 33% I had a clearer sense of purpose 15% I became less afraid of rejection 14% I became more confident 14% I became less of a perfectionist 13% I became less self-conscious Yes, in negative ways 12% I became less confident 8% I became more self-

conscious 8% I became more afraid of rejection 7% I had less sense of purpose 4% I became more of a perfectionist (1,525 respondents)

DID HAVING CHILDREN AFFECT YOUR MOTIVATION TO WRITE? 35% It became more important to me 30% I felt more guilty spending time writing 24% I became more determined 16% I became more ambitious 8% It became less important to me 8% I became less ambitious 5% I became less determined 4% I felt less guilty spending time writing (1,525 respondents)

WHAT WOULD HELP (OR WOULD HAVE HELPED) YOUR WRITING AS A PARENT? 54% Recorded course and event material that I can access at any time 53% An online option for all live courses and events so I can attend wherever I am 48% Access to free or affordable writing space away from home 47% Regular contact with other writers in my situation 31% Writing courses and events with childcare facilities 27% Writing courses and events during the day at weekends when I can access childcare from family/friends (1,525 respondents)

/ STOCKSY

DANYLCHENKO

: YAROSLAV

PAGE

IS

; TH

STOCK

/ ADOBE

IA

: TUMSKA

ITE

OPPOS

PHOTO

10 AGENDA / Mslexia / Dec/Jan/Feb 2024/25

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