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GUEST LITERATURE – KOREA things, but in spirit as well? All in the three years that we had not seen each other. “What has it been, two years?” she mumbled as if to herself. I was going to correct her and say that it had been three years, but she gazed out at the car park beyond the window and added, that that was since she’d first come here. I just said: ”Really?” After a short while, she spoke again. “I found this place, thanks to a friend who had her heart broken.” I flinched at the mention of heart-break, as if I’d been suddenly attacked. I was reminded once again of the simple fact that a woman I’d been engaged to had left me, and I felt as if a bitter shoot of pain was sprouting in the bottom of my heart like a poisonous plant. “A heart-broken friend?” “Yeah.” From what she told me, her friend had been bitterly betrayed by a man and had come to her for advice and comfort. The moment I began to show some interest in her words she shot up from her seat. She walked along the narrow passage toward the kitchen and gestured to the waitress, pointing to the refrigerator and the cabinets. She seemed to be ordering something to drink. It was indeed the kind of story that needed a drink. Especially for me. I sometimes think about the bond of heart-break. There are some people in this world that I just don’t get along with, the kind where I wish I or the other person would just leave for another planet, it didn’t matter which one of us had to do the leaving. But let’s say that by chance I found out that one of these people had had their heart cruelly broken.Though only a few seconds ago I hadn’t even wanted to live under the same sky as this person, I could take them home, give them a drink, and sleep under the same roof as them. I would even be prepared to give them a goodnight kiss on the lips, though they still reeked of alcohol, so they wouldn’t dream sad dreams. There are bonds such as the bond of hunger or the bond of poverty, as well as the bond between those under the strain of taking a test, the bond between vegetarians, and the bond between parents of missing children. Maybe I’m strange, but I can’t imagine a bond so hopelessly drenched, so beautifully without judgment, as the bond of heart-break. Perhaps that was why, as I watched her order the drinks in that train-like bar, I felt very close to this friend of hers 196 BANIPAL 43 – CELEBRATING DENYS JOHNSON-DAVIES
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KWON YEO-SUN though I had never even seen her face. My heart was restless with the mere expectation of the bond of heart-break that would form between her friend and me. Of course, we needed my friend as a mediator . . . She came back to her seat and said: “Since you didn’t bring your car, you can have a drink or two, right?” Of course I told her that would be fine. “I ordered beer and soju, okay?” “Oh, really?” I didn’t like soju, but I didn’t object. I could just drink beer. And with the train-like mood, I might want a glass or two of soju while listening to a story about heart-break. “Let’s mix the beer and soju. That’s okay, right?” It was a frightening thing to mix beer and soju, but I told her it was okay before I’d even realized it. She only asked my opinion as an afterthought, after she had already made up her mind. I thought this might be another part of her that had changed. I felt as if all I had done since we’d met was repeat the phrases: “Oh, really?” and “That’s okay.” “So, did you say anything that helped your friend?” “My friend? Ah.” She smiled, turning up a corner of her mouth. “I didn’t need to help her.” “Why not?” She said that her friend had reserved a place at this bar the day before, while still swept up in despair. “Isn’t that evidence that she had enough hope?” “Hope? What hope?” “As long as we have the will to live, we have hope. All I had to do was pretend to subtly interfere with that hope.” I had no idea what she meant by interfering with hope. She explained simply: “Only then do you realize that you have hope. Just like you have to scatter things about to realize you have space.” This was again another of her odd qualities, that I felt even more confused after she explained something. Only by interfering with hope do you realize that there is hope? Only by scattering things about do you realize that you have space? What kind of explanations were these? The waitress brought out a tray. I glanced at it, and my gaze came BANIPAL 43 – SPRING 2012 197

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GUEST LITERATURE – KOREA

things, but in spirit as well? All in the three years that we had not seen each other.

“What has it been, two years?” she mumbled as if to herself. I was going to correct her and say that it had been three years, but she gazed out at the car park beyond the window and added, that that was since she’d first come here. I just said: ”Really?” After a short while, she spoke again.

“I found this place, thanks to a friend who had her heart broken.” I flinched at the mention of heart-break, as if I’d been suddenly attacked. I was reminded once again of the simple fact that a woman I’d been engaged to had left me, and I felt as if a bitter shoot of pain was sprouting in the bottom of my heart like a poisonous plant.

“A heart-broken friend?” “Yeah.” From what she told me, her friend had been bitterly betrayed by a man and had come to her for advice and comfort. The moment I began to show some interest in her words she shot up from her seat. She walked along the narrow passage toward the kitchen and gestured to the waitress, pointing to the refrigerator and the cabinets. She seemed to be ordering something to drink. It was indeed the kind of story that needed a drink. Especially for me.

I sometimes think about the bond of heart-break. There are some people in this world that I just don’t get along with, the kind where I wish I or the other person would just leave for another planet, it didn’t matter which one of us had to do the leaving. But let’s say that by chance I found out that one of these people had had their heart cruelly broken.Though only a few seconds ago I hadn’t even wanted to live under the same sky as this person, I could take them home, give them a drink, and sleep under the same roof as them. I would even be prepared to give them a goodnight kiss on the lips, though they still reeked of alcohol, so they wouldn’t dream sad dreams. There are bonds such as the bond of hunger or the bond of poverty, as well as the bond between those under the strain of taking a test, the bond between vegetarians, and the bond between parents of missing children. Maybe I’m strange, but I can’t imagine a bond so hopelessly drenched, so beautifully without judgment, as the bond of heart-break. Perhaps that was why, as I watched her order the drinks in that train-like bar, I felt very close to this friend of hers

196 BANIPAL 43 – CELEBRATING DENYS JOHNSON-DAVIES

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