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NAEL EL-TOUKHY The Machos A SHORT STORY TRANSLATED BY WIAM EL-TAMAMI During the revolution, three young men decided to start their own special project. Each of the young men had a name and each name began with the term ‘Macho’.There was Macho Zakariya, Macho Sayed and Macho Louai and their grand scheme was born at a café in Korba. Amidst the curling smoke of canteloupe-flavoured shisha, they decided together to pursue their old dream. 82 BANIPAL 43 – CELEBRATING DENYS JOHNSON-DAVIES
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NAEL EL-TOUKHY The three machos bore massive physiques that befit their names, but, as is often the case with human beings, their characters were a different matter altogether. Macho Louai was the most sensitive of the machos. His speech began with the self and ended with the world: “To be honest, my dear machos, I’m an emotional wreck. After a love story for the ages – she left me! I don’t understand women.” Macho Sayed tried to sum up the tragedy: “True, very true.Women are a mystery.” Macho Zakariya opened his mouth, revealing his dirty teeth. He said sarcastically: “She destroyed me . . . because . . . I once . . . loved her!” Macho Louai had the distinct impression that he’d spotted a pair of elephant tusks in Macho Zakariya’s mouth. He wanted to point this out, so he said: “Excuse me, my dear Macho Zakariya, but it seems to me you have a pair elephant tusks growing between your teeth.” Macho Zakariya was surprised. “Really? What do they look like?” “Just like a pair of elephant tusks.” “I see what you’re saying, my friend. I haven’t brushed my teeth in three days.” “But that wouldn’t make elephant tusks grow in your mouth!” “If what you’re saying is true, then it is strange. I’ll go and see a dentist soon.” Macho Louai went back to telling his tale of woe. “I sacrificed everything for her. I did (he tried to find a different way to phrase this, but failed) . . . everything for her.” Macho Zakariya repeated his earlier line with the same rhythm: “She destroyed me . . . because . . . I once . . . loved her!” Macho Louai seethed in silence. He decided that, once he was done with his mission, he would kill Macho Zakariya. Macho Sayed was the largest of the three dinosaurs from whose nostrils smoke now rose. He was thus considered the leader of the pack.The chief contemplated the faces of the two machos sitting by his side, then spoke. “Let’s get back on topic: our old dream, the dream of our college years. (Macho Zakariya heaved a wistful sigh, expelling two huge clumps of smoke from his mouth; Macho Louai moaned and a gargling burp escaped instead, following the string of cokes he had just BANIPAL 43 – SPRING 2012 83

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NAEL EL-TOUKHY

The three machos bore massive physiques that befit their names, but, as is often the case with human beings, their characters were a different matter altogether. Macho Louai was the most sensitive of the machos. His speech began with the self and ended with the world:

“To be honest, my dear machos, I’m an emotional wreck. After a love story for the ages – she left me! I don’t understand women.” Macho Sayed tried to sum up the tragedy: “True, very true.Women are a mystery.” Macho Zakariya opened his mouth, revealing his dirty teeth. He said sarcastically: “She destroyed me . . . because . . . I once . . . loved her!” Macho Louai had the distinct impression that he’d spotted a pair of elephant tusks in Macho Zakariya’s mouth. He wanted to point this out, so he said: “Excuse me, my dear Macho Zakariya, but it seems to me you have a pair elephant tusks growing between your teeth.” Macho Zakariya was surprised. “Really? What do they look like?”

“Just like a pair of elephant tusks.” “I see what you’re saying, my friend. I haven’t brushed my teeth in three days.”

“But that wouldn’t make elephant tusks grow in your mouth!” “If what you’re saying is true, then it is strange. I’ll go and see a dentist soon.” Macho Louai went back to telling his tale of woe. “I sacrificed everything for her. I did (he tried to find a different way to phrase this, but failed) . . . everything for her.” Macho Zakariya repeated his earlier line with the same rhythm: “She destroyed me . . . because . . . I once . . . loved her!” Macho Louai seethed in silence. He decided that, once he was done with his mission, he would kill Macho Zakariya. Macho Sayed was the largest of the three dinosaurs from whose nostrils smoke now rose. He was thus considered the leader of the pack.The chief contemplated the faces of the two machos sitting by his side, then spoke.

“Let’s get back on topic: our old dream, the dream of our college years. (Macho Zakariya heaved a wistful sigh, expelling two huge clumps of smoke from his mouth; Macho Louai moaned and a gargling burp escaped instead, following the string of cokes he had just

BANIPAL 43 – SPRING 2012 83

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