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Embarrassing Moments...

This seems to be our most popular feature at present, so here is adouble instalment as a special Festive treat (or something like that).... First confessor is Martin Strong, a follower of Leyton Orient, “theEast London club thatdoesn’t sack itsmanagers”, who...

1. Went to Gillingham for ameaningless Group Cup match.

2. Drove my 10year-old Escort to Shrewsbury, even though it had adodgy clutch. Came home on the back of anAA van - and they lost 1-0.

3. Used to take afternoons off work to watch Football Combination matches.

4. Hailed Ian Moores as agreat player when he scored two goals on his debut.

5. Cried when Orient missed promotion to the First by one point.

6. Used to send off for my season ticket in mid-April hoping to get ‘No 1’ for next season.

7. Named anearly Seventies guinea pig ‘Bowyer’(after Ian, not the sausages).

8. Was interviewed live on LondonPlus, explaining my passion for the ‘Cinderella’ club of London football.

9. Proposed to my wife during half-time in aFreight Rover game. She said yes and since then I’ve become a little saner...

And here are some more, courtesy of Mark E Smith, who admits to:

1. Leading the chant of “Weheld’err.toa draw” at the school canteen after Man City had drawn 0-0 at home to Fenerbahce of Turkey in the European Cup.

2. Writing ‘Catholic Gits’on the back of a Man Utd Italian Supporters’coach at a service station on the M6.

3. Going for a job at Louis Edwards’meat factory HQ, getting it, then trying to get out of it, even if they did offer me £8.50 per week plus a season ticket to Man Utd.

4. Seeing George Jones of Bury jogging in a local park.

5. Lying to schoolmates that my Dad was adirector of Bury and getting found out.

6. Shouting “Pieface!” atPrestwich Heys’ centre forward during agame v Sutton Utd and getting punched. Then, at the same match, invading the pitch and getting arrested by the navvy who lived at the top of our street who also happened to be a weekend copper...

ErrorOf Our Ways

Billy never took the field without his famous toothpick. He won'F.A. Cup medals with both Manchester clubs (City 1904, United 1909). The last time he played for Wales was on March 15, 1920, against England at Highbury. He was 43—and Wales won 2—1.

Apologies to anyone puzzled by last month’s non-joke concerning Billy Meredith’stoothpick. The wrong clipping was used (the guilty party has been sternly dealt with). Here’s the right one, to be matched up to the text which appeared in the last issue. Better late than never, eh?

Moonlighting

NME 11111/89

Times are hard for Clive, who has to pick up |paid work iwherever he can these days.

Rovers*Return

LACK MARK

TO DONCASTER ROVERS F.C., for sacking manager Roy Kinnear in June, only three months after his appointment.

Football Monthly Aug 1989

can remember their days on the terraces...

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John Rowan spotted this remarkable scoop for the magazine that describes itself as “TheWorld’sGreatestSoccerMonthly”. Will their hiring and firing of deceased comedy actors start anew trend?

Property Is Theft?

The public enquiry into the future of Craven Cottage is to begin in mid-January, with property developers CabraEstates contesting the local council’s preservation order. Anyone interested in helping to secure the future of Fulham FC at thenpresent ground should write to: The Inspector, Fulham FC Public Enquiry, c/o The Solicitor, London Boro’Of Hammersmith &Fulham, Riverview House, Beavor Lane, Hammersmith, London W6. Public support is important as each letter will be considered as ‘evidence’at the enquiry.