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All Fools’ Day: An Academic Farewell

No negotiation. No negotiation before departure.

In this paper I will make no direct reference to the above title, or expand on the possible relevance of my argument, symbolic or otherwise, to the main topic.

I will go on to plagiarise several well-known poets and writers without citing their work or acknowledging their influence on my thoughts in any way. See, for example, the epigraph to this abstract, a quote which was taken from the leader of the opposition in

Cairo (2011)

yet used here out of context in an entirely inappropriate setting.

Finally, I will put to myself the same questions that my examiners – so I have been warned – will put to me.

Each of my answers will be indirect, unsuitable, and ultimately unclear. I shall fail, in other words, to satisfy the criteria set by the examiners and their governing board.

Don’t ask who’s keeping house – no one’s keeping house today.

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