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crabs r back

Crabs haven’t quite caught on; perhaps they refuse to. The idea that they are genial supports is merely a stagy tableau. A stone crab no one sees has rotated. It fills a major gap. A team of scientists on a remote island must find a way to stop gigantic mutant crabs (with human-type eyes rather than stalked ones) from reproducing and invading the world’s oceans. Enormous birds and bees encourage the scientists to compete. Jules Verne enters. Roger Corman works on his blood. The thoroughly evil Dr Bang unscrews his artificial arm and releases his ‘peeler’. Made of H-bombs and twine, it is universally disliked. The ubiquitous phantom crab lives in the catacombs of the opera house. The ghost crab billows to attract mates. These pods join in. As a crab swims sideways, it clicks or snaps a fake pod onto the inner surface of a joint to optimize lift.

The black tips of large pens make me sick, but most crabs are chilled, packed into Styrofoam boxes, with a supply of pots for recreational use. Evidence suggests that settlers wore simple crabs to protect their feet. Crabs in an area without grass can beef up a dull scene. Initially pink, Van Gogh turned red as he yelled at his sponge. Then he cut off a piece of algae. Rembrandt moved a crab with his van. Some painters operate from a skipjack boat, draping a roller over the side, but most people decorate crabs casually, on a plate or at the beach. Virginia was one of the first wives to be considered aquatic because she snorkeled after meals.

The miserly Eugene Krabs will do almost anything for profit. He quietly goes about his business—slathering sunscreen on sections of drain pipe—as if you weren’t there. Sebastian the crab has released two reggae albums for children. He plays organ, piano and clavinet, and is one of the only instrumentalists on the crustacean music scene. Already in great demand, he is also available as a beanbag. Crabs in the air vent as they go by. On clear nights, English crabs can see the moon reflected in a beer can. The moon beats and flaps, causing the tides.

The Plankton Mimic is both fascinating and likable. When he drifts into a pet store, normally docile crabs yodel and cavort until


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