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page 14
20. Two or three artisans hurry as best they can down the dark lane Awkwardly carrying one large stone testicle each. Oh, of course, the theory that the Buddha was essentially sexless Has its fanatics! What great spiritual movement does not? 21. He has been sitting there in his garden for an hour or two, Meditating on the latest vexatious political instabilities, When a shower of small jade balls scatter onto the lawn from the deep sk y. What? Can the Immortals themselves be falling out in awkward sympathy? 22. After a few months, it at last occurred to him to investigate The hollow base of the large statue of the Buddha he had lately bought. He reached right in – and pulled out an ancient pair of something very like drawers. An hour or two later, he returned – and reverentially put them back where he had got them. 23. Pottering about in his garden on a pleasant summer’s day, He unearths what looks like a very valuable ancient necklace. Something about it talks to him in living terms of dead love. But he knew he had no idea what to reply. 24. The old scholar stands astonished at a corner of his garden wall. Since last he was there, years ago, the mosses and lichens Have combined to imitate the most excitingly obscene character of them all! How, he wonders, can he keep this knowledge hidden from his wife? 
page 15
25. The many petals which fell overnight from his prize chrysanthemums – He discovers in the morning to be lying in mounds which suggest The characters for We Crave Your New Wife’s Somewhat Exquisite Equivalent. By the next year, of course, these flowers are nowhere in sight. 26. An Apology for Not Visiting ‘I did indeed approach your remote retreat to visit you; There where, as you said in your letter, ‘The plum-tree is my wife.’ But, on observing as I drew near that the phrase was, evidently, no mere metaphor, I decided that the most prudent course open to me was to remove myself at once.’ 27. From a Letter of Condolence ‘Dear Sir, please accept these apologies for what must have seemed an unforgivably thoughtless remark. The esteemed, sublime and able letter which you wrote to me recently about your late wife Contained that modern tag which, I now learn, can mean either ‘old, dried fish’ or ‘a sunlit cemetery’. Oh, my friend! Never have I more regretted my lamentably uncertain touch with current linguistic nuance!’ 28. The scholar has been unable to continue his work this morning On The Fundamental Maturity of Most Chinese Poetry Because his wife has just beaten him senseless with the heavy manuscript – Although, in fairness to her be it said, she did at least glance through it first. 

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20. Two or three artisans hurry as best they can down the dark lane Awkwardly carrying one large stone testicle each. Oh, of course, the theory that the Buddha was essentially sexless Has its fanatics! What great spiritual movement does not?

21. He has been sitting there in his garden for an hour or two, Meditating on the latest vexatious political instabilities, When a shower of small jade balls scatter onto the lawn from the deep

sk y. What? Can the Immortals themselves be falling out in awkward

sympathy?

22. After a few months, it at last occurred to him to investigate The hollow base of the large statue of the Buddha he had lately bought. He reached right in – and pulled out an ancient pair of something

very like drawers. An hour or two later, he returned – and reverentially put them back

where he had got them.

23. Pottering about in his garden on a pleasant summer’s day, He unearths what looks like a very valuable ancient necklace. Something about it talks to him in living terms of dead love. But he knew he had no idea what to reply.

24. The old scholar stands astonished at a corner of his garden wall. Since last he was there, years ago, the mosses and lichens Have combined to imitate the most excitingly obscene character of

them all! How, he wonders, can he keep this knowledge hidden from his wife?



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