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‘I’M SORRY I’M NOT A FUCKING TORPEDO!’ ‘I can’t… blast through shit I’m lost and I’m useless and I’ve got no fucking idea where I am or what I’m doing. There. I said it. Go ahead and dump me because I’m a piece of shit.’ There was a long silence. Nancy straightened her spine like a dressage rider, looked at me for an age then said, ‘How many times do I have to prove it to you?’ ‘Prove what?’ I said. She sighed, ‘What could be more useless and impotent than a dud torpedo in a forest?’ ‘I don’t understand,’ I said. She peeled a snail from its propeller and threw it at me. ‘I know exactly who you are,’ she said, slapping the steel, ‘you and him are headed in the same direction.’ ‘You mean, nowhere?’ She unzipped her trousers and reached down. Fat tears appeared on her cheeks like rain. I didn’t understand why she was crying. ‘You stupid idiot,’ she said, her breath quickening as she rubbed and grinded, ‘Can’t you see I’m doing this for you? Can’t you see I’m exploding for the both of us?’ 14
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Sincerely Use the word ‘befall.’ Take away this netting, these gardening pots with the drainage holes, these small square days the size of calendar boxes; how each sleep scores a line through the last, thin and unfrayable as an eyelash. Let’s not dodge branches as the forest runs towards us, mark time by near misses, loves that mend sure as cuts sliced through shadow by a waving hand. I’m done with healing over like water heals above a sinking body. 15

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‘I’M SORRY I’M NOT A FUCKING TORPEDO!’ ‘I can’t… blast through shit I’m lost and I’m useless and I’ve got no fucking idea where I am or what I’m doing. There. I said it. Go ahead and dump me because I’m a piece of shit.’ There was a long silence. Nancy straightened her spine like a dressage rider, looked at me for an age then said, ‘How many times do I have to prove it to you?’ ‘Prove what?’ I said. She sighed, ‘What could be more useless and impotent than a dud torpedo in a forest?’ ‘I don’t understand,’ I said. She peeled a snail from its propeller and threw it at me. ‘I know exactly who you are,’ she said, slapping the steel, ‘you and him are headed in the same direction.’ ‘You mean, nowhere?’ She unzipped her trousers and reached down. Fat tears appeared on her cheeks like rain. I didn’t understand why she was crying. ‘You stupid idiot,’ she said, her breath quickening as she rubbed and grinded, ‘Can’t you see I’m doing this for you? Can’t you see I’m exploding for the both of us?’

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